Day 30: It all ends

In 30 days, I’ve written so many things about you - some were repeated because I couldn’t express it enough.

And even though this challenge to myself ends today, just remember this - I love you, and in my heart I am writing about you, writing to you, 24/7.

Day 29: Just be you.

Just be the hand I could hold on to.
Just be the person I could run to.
Just be you.

Day 28: Hold My Heart

Hold my heart, hold it still. Put your rough fingers around it and hold on tight - but not too tight, you wouldn’t want to stop the beating. Make sure that it’s neatly enveloped, but leave some space for it to breathe and catch sunlight.

As you hold it, feel it pulsate and study the rhythm - each lub and dub is important - and make it your own, let your heart follow the beat of mine.

Hold my heart, hold it still. Hold it like your life depended on it, and if you want to let it go, please be careful.

Day 27: Untitled-1

I just wish that every word I say actually heals your ache, every kiss on your forehead would lessen the pain. Because right now, with distance between us, words of comfort are all I can give - a small effort on trying to save your sanity.

But I wish for that day to come - when I would actually be taking care of you. Giving you medicine and serving you breakfast in bed.

Day 26: Adjusted

Remember when we saw The Adjustment Bureau - the day we decided to be not just you and me, the day we decided to be us - and we realized how we could’ve been “adjusted.”

And we might have been adjusted, to meet on the afternoon of December 26, 2011, to decide to walk a fairly far distance and sit at a place we now call “the spot”, to decide to stay friends for the first three months. Things like that.

When I look back at every little detail, I sometimes regret doing those things to you - but when reality pulls me back to the 23rd hour, 6th minute, and 49th second of today, I just think and imagine the men in fedoras and perfectly fitted suits, clicking and swiping across their notebooks to keep our paths together.

Day 25: I am running out of words due to this weather.

You are the sun that remains warm behind the rain clouds, you are the last piece of the puzzle the completes the whole picture.

And if I were to lose everything else, to have you would be enough.

Day 24: Typhoons are bitches.

As I waded through the waters, my feet covered only by my socks soaking wet, I thought of you - and how worried you might be, how frustrating it is to think that after 6 hours, I am still out, trying hard to get home as fast as I can.

I hope you understand my situation - how little decisions I make lead to one thing and another - I was headed home, with you in my heart, whether it is 2am or not.

Day 23: New favorite thing.

I have a new favorite thing to do: watching a movie with you asleep by my side, my arms around you, and sipping a cup of hot Milo.

Day 22: Empty

Even if my day is empty, you seem to find a way to fill every single piece of space in it.

Day 21: It’s a relationship

I just want you to understand that it’s not a requirement, it’s volitional.