We have often thought about not waking up anymore, or getting struck by lightning, or crashing into a deep pit - but did we ever think about what happens after? You’d probably say, “no one would care” or, “it would make a difference to anyone, anywhere.”

Today, I realized that that was wrong. I woke up today with the feeling of regret, the feeling that I shouldn’t have had the chance to open my eyes again and feel my lungs breathe deep. In my head, last night should have been my last night. Death is somehow the best escape anyone who’s had hard times hope for, and they’re probably wishing that the next second would be their last.

But to think that way would be selfish. To think that you could just stop the clock from ticking would be the most selfish thing ever. To think about putting an end to your problems with one action, would just make it about you - but you should be worried about the world around you, about how things are going to change gravely when you are gone.

You might have not realized it yet, but the world works well with tiny little cogs in its system. You are one of those cogs. One small piece that makes everything happen in order, in the whole consequence of life and action. It is you that makes everything possible - and to take yourself away because turning in sync with others has become too hard, imagine these other cogs and the heavier load they would have to carry.

Believe it or not, you have been an important piece - and still is - in this whole activation. You have been - and again, will be - a friend to another who is in need. You have been - and again, will be - a person who has inspired another to be better. You have been - and again, will be - the reason someone wakes up at five in the morning for. Your parents wake up everyday and struggle to the turn the pieces of the world to make a living for you because they know how hard life can get and will do everything to make that easier for you so you can reach greater distances and climb taller heights. Your friends try and try harder at understanding their lives and their purpose because you somehow inspired them to do so by living your life the way it is supposed to be and by trying to understand your own life and purpose. It is because of you that the world turns the way it turns.

These cogs piece together because they serve a purpose for one another. You live through life with them and they life through life because of you. You live for people the way they live for you. And someday, you will see that you exist because you can be a shoulder to lean on to; they exist because they have a shoulder you can lean on to.

It is a mutual celebration in the whole complexity of life’s clockwork.

Take me back to that small room on the 8th floor where we made memories together and time stood still until another sunrise came. I’ll settle there, in a little corner with just a blanket while feeling the cold winds pass through the window.

You can have your city, your tall buildings, and busy streets. I’ll have this little room where we held hands and exchanged intimate conversations about life, where we shared “oohs” and “ahhs” in perfect sync, where you were mine and I was yours.

Take me back to the room on the 8th floor where we shared bottles of beer and white shirts, where we had plans for the future, where I made promises of loving only you, where no promises were broken.

You can have the world, your mystic sights and various colors. I’ll stay here where I found out how it feels to love and be loved, where I made no mistakes whether pen or pencil, where mistakes were forgiven.

Leave me here, where the view of the sunrise is perfect, where we laughed and cried and waited for each day to pass, where I didn’t feel anything but happiness. Leave me here where I can hold on to the idea that I once had you.

As I set every step on the cold and damp sand, you stood there; still and unmoved despite the heavy waves and winds. I stopped in my tracks and stared at your stillness, the unclear silhouette of your body buried in the fog and diffused sunlight. There was only you, me, and the sea foam - it rushed in, full of hope, then it set back into the waters without a trace.

I keep my ground as my eyes explored the empty back drop you were against, the white wall that erased the vast ocean in front of us. It moved slowly, bit by bit, it erased the world without a trace. The world was empty except for your blurry outline, standing grounded as a lighthouse that no hurricane could bring down.

I stepped back and felt the wet sand contour against my feet; it pushed me towards you, lifting my feet up and forward until I was only inches away from you with my arms ready to catch you - but I was too late. I stood there, still and unmoved as I watch you fade away with the fog.

Everything became clear, the deep blue ocean in front of me ruffled curtains of water while the clouds disappeared. It’s just me and the sea foam, now - I rushed in, full of hope, and set back into the waters without a trace.

Perfect sunny weather song! – Preview it on Path.

They look at us and they laugh about words passed around; one mouth to the other in an intense exchange of saliva. They look at us and they laugh incessantly as if their lives depended on it; deep breath after another through holes in their bodies.

I take a step away and you follow - but we’re only victims of unfinished statements and mise-en-scene stories. Their pickets announce our standing to the world, turning the spotlight to the backstage.

They take two steps forward, sacrificing their bodies to a game we can’t win - but these pawns don’t realize they’ve done nothing but throw themselves forward and lose in a battle against the world.

There’s nothing to lose when you’ve lost it all. So we spread our arms open and welcome defeat - for there are battles we can never win, but there are mistakes that we can look back at and know that we lived and learned.

WORK MUSIC! – Preview it on Path.